almost the beginning: today
..........And don’t we love the water now! We worship it like a god; most of us think the water is God, even if no one says the words. There is more water here than land. We have to use boats to travel around. Some people swim everywhere they go. No one says, “You’re dripping all over my carpet!” Everyone would swim everywhere if they could.
..........Water water everywhere and not a drop to... Look at the water at high noon. See how the water reflects the light of the sun. See the gentle sloping waves, the destructive, angry waves, the sunlight dancing on the ripples of the water’s surface. See the sun set in the water Isn’t it beautiful? Isn’t it the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen? Feel the water on your skin. Feel the water penetrating your skin. Feel the water becoming your skin. Drink the water. Pour it down your throat and into your belly. You love it so much you want to follow it down your throat and jump in your own belly. The water has been a part of you since before you were born. In the weeks before your mother’s due date, she wore a small bucket between her legs to catch her breaking water. After you were born, this water was thrown into the ocean as an offering. You might have been born in the ocean itself. You were born in water, that’s for certain. Babies who, for some unfortunate reason, don’t have water-births always have some sort of retardation. Whether the retardation is natural or nurtural is not up for debate. Some of these babies are given to the ocean. There isn’t much questioning surrounding that topic, either.
..........Just like my twin brother and sister, i had an ocean birth. My brother and sister were born, swam around the ocean for a while and then back to my mother. All three of them reluctantly left the water for the dry land.
I was born, swam around the ocean and kept swimming. My mother panicked and swam after me. She tore me out of the water. I was drowning because my lungs had already forgotten how to breathe liquid. The ocean almost killed me. Even if no one said the words.
..........I refused to learn to swim. “Learning” to swim was incomprehensible to most of us. You either know how to swim or you don’t and “everybody knows how to swim ” My mother took me and my brother and sister to the ocean everyday after their daycare. I screamed and screamed and screamed. She held me close to her while she walked into the water. I screamed and screamed and screamed. She dipped my feet in the water. I screamed and screamed and screamed. She let go of me and the weight of my fear pulled me under. When my mother pulled me out, i screamed and screamed and screamed. People saw us and asked, “What’s wrong with her? Is she sick?” and they meant “What’s wrong with her? How could you raise a child who is scared of the water?” My mom laughed and answered, “She hates going in because she knows she has to get out ” This was a lie. The lookers-on knew this, but they appreciated that she was trying to seem normal, so they laughed with my mother’s laugh and my screams.
..........This went on for the first three years of my life. I learned that screaming embarrassed my mother and if i embarrassed my mother that meant that i didn’t love her, so i held my screams in. I sat next to my mom on the beach, who was sacrificing her love of the water because she loved me more.
..........I hate the water and the water hates me. As you read on, keep this in mind: i didn’t start it.
..........Water water everywhere and not a drop to... Look at the water at high noon. See how the water reflects the light of the sun. See the gentle sloping waves, the destructive, angry waves, the sunlight dancing on the ripples of the water’s surface. See the sun set in the water Isn’t it beautiful? Isn’t it the most beautiful thing you’ve ever seen? Feel the water on your skin. Feel the water penetrating your skin. Feel the water becoming your skin. Drink the water. Pour it down your throat and into your belly. You love it so much you want to follow it down your throat and jump in your own belly. The water has been a part of you since before you were born. In the weeks before your mother’s due date, she wore a small bucket between her legs to catch her breaking water. After you were born, this water was thrown into the ocean as an offering. You might have been born in the ocean itself. You were born in water, that’s for certain. Babies who, for some unfortunate reason, don’t have water-births always have some sort of retardation. Whether the retardation is natural or nurtural is not up for debate. Some of these babies are given to the ocean. There isn’t much questioning surrounding that topic, either.
..........Just like my twin brother and sister, i had an ocean birth. My brother and sister were born, swam around the ocean for a while and then back to my mother. All three of them reluctantly left the water for the dry land.
I was born, swam around the ocean and kept swimming. My mother panicked and swam after me. She tore me out of the water. I was drowning because my lungs had already forgotten how to breathe liquid. The ocean almost killed me. Even if no one said the words.
..........I refused to learn to swim. “Learning” to swim was incomprehensible to most of us. You either know how to swim or you don’t and “everybody knows how to swim ” My mother took me and my brother and sister to the ocean everyday after their daycare. I screamed and screamed and screamed. She held me close to her while she walked into the water. I screamed and screamed and screamed. She dipped my feet in the water. I screamed and screamed and screamed. She let go of me and the weight of my fear pulled me under. When my mother pulled me out, i screamed and screamed and screamed. People saw us and asked, “What’s wrong with her? Is she sick?” and they meant “What’s wrong with her? How could you raise a child who is scared of the water?” My mom laughed and answered, “She hates going in because she knows she has to get out ” This was a lie. The lookers-on knew this, but they appreciated that she was trying to seem normal, so they laughed with my mother’s laugh and my screams.
..........This went on for the first three years of my life. I learned that screaming embarrassed my mother and if i embarrassed my mother that meant that i didn’t love her, so i held my screams in. I sat next to my mom on the beach, who was sacrificing her love of the water because she loved me more.
..........I hate the water and the water hates me. As you read on, keep this in mind: i didn’t start it.
posted by yogagrrrl at 2:00 PM
0 Comments:
Post a Comment
<< Home